What Are the Biggest Mistakes to Avoid During a Custody Battle?

Custody battles are some of the toughest challenges a parent can face in a divorce—emotionally, legally, and personally. When so much is at stake, even small missteps can have lasting impacts, from the outcome of your case to your relationship with your child. However, recognizing what you’re doing well and where you’re falling short isn’t always straightforward.

At Mahoney Richmond Thurston, PLLC,  we’ve spent years helping parents through the complexities of custody cases. To make this journey easier, we’ve compiled a list of the biggest mistakes to avoid during a custody battle, so you can approach this process with confidence and peace of mind.

Not Being Prepared

Walking into a custody battle unprepared is one of the most common and damaging mistakes parents make. Thorough preparation is your foundation for success. Without it, you risk exposing yourself to surprises that may work against your case.  

How to avoid this:  

• Understand custody laws: Familiarize yourself with your state’s custody and visitation statutes. Your attorney can guide you on what to expect.
• Document everything: Keep detailed records of interactions and responsibilities involving your child. This may include visitation schedules, significant communication with the other parent, and any major decisions you’ve made regarding your child’s welfare.
• Present a parenting plan: A well-crafted parenting plan signals your commitment to your child’s stability and well-being.

Building a strong case starts with preparation. Take the time needed to create clear documentation and align with your legal counsel to ensure every angle is covered.  

Letting Your Emotions Get the Best of You

Heightened emotions are unavoidable during custody proceedings, but letting them overpower you can jeopardize your case. Angry outbursts, tears in court, or emotional decisions may reflect a lack of self-control to the judge, which can negatively influence custody rulings.  

How to avoid this:  

• Practice emotional restraint: Be calm, even under pressure. If needed, work with a therapist to develop coping strategies.
• Stay child-focused: Remind yourself why you’re there—to seek the best outcome for your child.
• Rely on professional guidance: Your attorney can serve as a calming anchor when emotions run high. Trust their experience.

The courtroom is not the place to vent frustration. Remaining composed demonstrates maturity and a focus on what matters most.  

Badmouthing the Other Parent

According to the Psychiatric Times, 20% to 25% of parents engage in alienating behavior as long as six years after divorce. However, speaking negatively about the other parent, whether in court, to friends, or in front of your child, is one of the fastest ways to damage your case. Judges prioritize the child’s emotional well-being, and badmouthing the other parent may be viewed as an attempt to alienate the child, which could result in reduced custody or visitation rights.  

How to avoid this:  

• Avoid criticism in all forms: Refrain from speaking ill of the other parent, even in text messages or private conversations.
• Focus on your relationship with your child: Put energy into strengthening your bond instead of highlighting the shortcomings of the other parent.
• Encourage co-parenting: Courts favor parents who show a willingness to collaborate for the child’s benefit.

Remember, actions that might feel justified in the moment can harm your long-term custody goals. Keep communication neutral and child-centered.  

Ignoring Legal Advice

Hiring a skilled family law attorney is one of the best investments you can make in a custody battle. However, failing to follow their advice is equally one of the most detrimental mistakes. Attorneys possess the skills to develop a sound legal strategy, and disregarding their recommendations can leave you vulnerable in court.  

How to avoid this:  

• Choose the right attorney: Look for someone with experience in family law and custody cases.
• Trust their guidance: Follow your attorney’s advice, even if it differs from your initial instincts. They understand the nuances of the law better than anyone.
• Communicate openly: Be transparent with your lawyer about all aspects of your case. Full disclosure ensures they can represent you effectively.

Your attorney is your advocate. Lean on their insights to avoid missteps and safeguard your parental rights.  

Making Poor Decisions on Social Media

Social media is often overlooked during legal battles, but it can serve as evidence in court. Posts that reflect poorly on your character, demonstrate irresponsibility, or contradict prior statements can hurt your case.  

How to avoid this:  

• Pause before posting: Think carefully about how any post, picture, or comment might be perceived if presented in the courtroom.
• Avoid talking about the case: Don’t mention court matters, custody, or your ex-partner on social platforms.
• Lock down your accounts: Set them to private, but remember, nothing is truly confidential on social media.

When it comes to social media during custody battles, less is more. Silence speaks volumes and avoids unnecessary complications.  

Take Action Today  

Custody battles are challenging and emotionally taxing, but by avoiding these common mistakes, you can position yourself for success while focusing on what truly matters—your child’s well-being.  

At Mahoney Richmond Thurston, PLLC, we recognize the unique challenges surrounding custody disputes. With decades of combined family law experience, our team is here to guide and advocate for you every step of the way.  

If you’re facing a custody battle, don’t go through it alone. Contact us today to schedule a consultation with our experienced family law attorney. Together, we’ll build a strong case that prioritizes your child’s happiness and security.