What Age Is a Child Most Affected by Divorce?

Divorce can be tough on kids, leading to emotional struggles and a sense of instability. Studies show that children from divorced families face a higher risk of anxiety, depression, and behavioral issues, with about 25-33% experiencing significant psychological challenges. However, as a parent considering divorce, you may be wondering if there’s an age that will be impacted the least by this dramatic change. It’s important to know that every child reacts differently, and there’s no specific age that minimizes the impact.

In this article, we will explore how children are impacted at various stages of development and provide you with practical tips to help support them during this challenging period.

Toddlers and Preschoolers

Children aged 2 to 6 may have more difficulty understanding the concept of divorce, but they are also resilient. They may not fully comprehend what is happening, but they can pick up on changes in their environment. This can lead to confusion, anxiety, and regression in behavior or development milestones. It’s important to provide consistent routines and reassure them that both parents still love them and will always be there for them.

To help young children cope with divorce:

• Keep communication simple and age-appropriate.
• Maintain a stable routine.
• Allow them to express their feelings through play or art.
• Avoid discussing negative details about your ex-partner in front of them.
• Show them love and support from both parents.

School-Age Children

School-age children (6 to 12 years old) may struggle with feelings of guilt, blame, and anger. They may also fear abandonment or worry about the future. This age group is more aware of what is happening and can feel caught in the middle between their parents. It’s important to talk openly with your child and address any misconceptions they may have about the divorce.

To help school-age children cope with divorce:

• Encourage open communication and be honest about the changes that will happen.
• Validate their feelings and reassure them that feeling angry or sad is okay.
• Involve them in decision-making regarding custody and visitation.
• Keep a consistent routine and structure to provide a sense of stability.
• Avoid using them as messengers between you and your ex-partner.

Teenagers

Teenagers (13 to 18 years old) may have the most complex reactions to divorce. They are more emotionally mature but can also struggle with anger, resentment, and confusion. They may also experience changes in behavior, such as rebellion or withdrawal. It’s important to involve them in discussions about the divorce and listen to their opinions and concerns.

To help teenagers cope with divorce:

• Have open and honest communication about the reasons for the divorce.
• Respect their need for privacy, but also be available to listen and support them.
• Encourage healthy coping mechanisms such as talking to a therapist or engaging in extracurricular activities.
• Be consistent with rules and boundaries, but also allow for some flexibility during this difficult time.
• Avoid speaking negatively about your ex-partner in front of them.

Help Your Children Embrace the Change

There’s no specific age that is most affected by divorce. Every child is unique and may react differently depending on their personality, family relationships, and support system. While it may be disappointing to realize there’s no getting around the fact that divorce will have some impact on your child, it’s important to remember that you deserve to be happy, and your children deserve to see you in a healthy and fulfilling relationship. By providing them with love, support, and understanding during this challenging time, you can help them navigate the changes and come out stronger on the other side.

If you’re considering divorce, don’t be afraid to reach out to Mahoney Richmond Thurston, PLLC. Our experienced family lawyers can provide you with legal guidance and support to help you make the best decisions for your family. Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone – we’re here to help.